For Guys: Online Dating - The Email

If you're anything like most single guys out there, you've probably had a look around various online dating sites like Plenty Of Fish and maybe even seen someone you'd like to contact. So you create an account, put up a profile pic and a bit of a description and then send the possible future love of your life a message. In many cases these messages read a little something like this: "Wow, you're beautiful! I'd love to take you out some time if you'll have me."

The next morning you eagerly check your inbox. Nothing! You go to your Sent Messages outbox to make sure the email to Miss HotBabeSureThing actually went and you notice with dismay that there are two little words next to your sent message separated by a nice, neat hyphen. These words are "Read/Deleted".

"How could this happen?" you lament as you sob quietly into your corn flakes. "We'd be perfect for each other (sob)..." Well, maybe you would be perfect for each other, but it ain't that easy Pal. Ask me how I know... Go on... No? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. An ex-girlfriend of mine, Celine (not her real name) let me have exclusive access to her brand new profile on Plenty Of Fish for three whole days. 

I have seen how the other half lives and I was shaken by the experience. I have seen the rockstar treatment that most new female POFers get from hordes of sweaty, heaving men and I was shocked at the sheer amount of competition out there on these sites. There must be at least three guys to every girl - I haven't seen the actual stats, so don't quote me directly on that.

There was one saving grace to the experience, I discovered that we guys ABSOLUTELY SUCK at the online dating game. Seriously, if you had seen the two hundred-odd emails that Celine received during the first three days of her profile was up, you'd come to the same conclusion. I sat down and I read every single one of those emails. Out of over two hundred, there were two good ones. One was written by someone who was obviously a student of David M's already-dodgy Insider Internet Dating program (he copied the lines word for word) and one other guy who was just being himself - friendly, interesting and interested in Celine as more than as a love plaything. Out of all the emails, the last guy wins hands down. I recommended that Celine actually contact this guy back. So long as he's not a sociopath they are going to get on famously.

Here are a few dating site email tips that you can use TODAY: 

Use something other than "Hi" for your subject line. It's the first thing they see and literally 50% of Celine's emails used "Hi" as the icebreaker.

Make your message count. First impressions last so if your first contact email is something lame like "How R U?" or the ever popular "Hi" (seriously, "hi" for both subject line and email message) you're going to become the invisible man instantly. Tell her a little about yourself and why you chose to contact her. It's not that hard and they do not bite (online anyway) - I've been regularly conversing with members of Plenty Of Fish's "500 Hottest" during my research into this issue and I can tell you right now that the hottest Brazilian babe in the world is just a normal girl. She likes to laugh, the likes to have fun, she likes to spend time with her family and she's not on these sites because POF is paying her to be eye candy, she's on there looking for whatever connection she's looking for with whatever guy takes her fancy. You'd be surprised at the types of guys these hotties tell me they are interested in...

 Do not call a beautiful woman beautiful (this goes for offline too). She knows she is and she also knows that she is much more than her looks. Picture this - you're a hot chick with a smoking body and a face that would launch a thousand ships - how many times per day would you get average idiots like us coming up to you and stating the obvious? Ponder that for a moment. Wanna know how to stand out from the crowd? AVOID mentioning anything about how hot she looked in that bikini pic or how gorgeous her eyes are.

Don't send over your cellphone number or MSN addy. Wait for her to offer hers first - sounds simple, but it's important. Seem too eager and you are toast; just another dribbling, hormone driven potential serial killer. 

Use these few simple tips and you're already miles ahead of the sweaty, heaving throng. But wait... before I finish up, I forgot to mention the dreaded 20/80 rule. Were you aware that when it comes to online dating, 20% of the men get 80% of the women? That's right, while you're looking at "Read/Deleted" in your inbox, 20% of your fellow male POFers are chatting up 80% of the women - generally the very attractive ones. Stay on the bench or get back onto the field.

This is just the first of several articles here on HubPages that I'll be writing about the intricacies of contacting women on online dating sites. Future articles will include info and advice on your profile, photos, interviews with hot women from Plenty Of Fish and more. If you'd like a sneak peek, come on over to my blog Online Paradigm - Online Dating For Men. You'll see the link below. 

Good luck, and be sure to wipe your chin before you start chatting to women online.